You Must Know What to Tell People and What Not
The perils of oversharing in a connected world
In the world of rampant social media, sharing, interacting, and commenting have become the norm.
You must have something needed or not to say to people, plain or twisted, concocted or genuine, magnified or marginalized.
Here is the point I am going to raise about the people who are too innocently talkative to hide anything from anyone.
They get a kind of unique satisfaction when they pour out their hearts.
In this information age, you can sell others’ personal information like hot cakes.
Nowadays, half of us spend our precious productive time exploring short cuts for everything.
The road to success is overcrowded with aspirants these days.
Many of them, in less time and with less endeavor, wish to have more than their fellow aspirants.
Thus, the controversy of fair or foul, right or wrong, just or unjust has lost its significance.
Therefore, in this trend of life, you have to rein yourself in while disclosing your personal plans and details.
Know the person and their intent before revealing any extra information about you.
I remember recently a young lady known to me excitedly confiding her career aspirations to a colleague she believed to be a trusted friend.
She informed her that next month she would be promoted.
She could never dream that her colleague, nursing hidden envy, strategically she would exploit her by informing their boss that Richa had a plan to quit the company.
Richa not only got her professional ambition shattered but also lost trust in genuine friendship. Credit goes to careless over-talking.
Amazingly, I looked at the young man sitting in front of me in the train, running hurriedly to reach its destination.
I could hardly believe that just an hour before I met the man on the train, he gave me a lot of personal information that required a sufficient level of interaction.
As he told me, he was an M.Tech. from I.I.T. His father was a real estate broker.
His mother was the school principal.
His elder brother was a high-ranking government officer.
He had a married sister who lived in London with her husband.
The young man delivered to me all this information within fifteen minutes of my boarding on the train.
I am too fond of making strangers friends for good will and relationships.
But I could never dare to share such personal information without knowing the authenticity of my new acquaintance.
But the man seemed to be in an undue hurry to trust me at first sight.
Was he naïve or innocent?
Was he a simple and noble?
What do I guess? He was unaware of social behavior these days.
It is commonly believed that women talk more than men.
In contrast to male friends, female friends tend to chat more — more frequently, longer, and about more intimate subjects.
People say they are too unreliable to keep personal secrets.
Particularly when they talk to another lady, they are very generous in sharing everything they know about the matter.
No doubt, I too have found ladies like that, but I also find many men who are prone to overtalking.
What is the truth?
I read the book “You’re the Only One I Can Tell: Inside the Language of Women’s Friendships” by Deborah Tannen.
She wrote that women speak more than men in private conversations with a view to fortifying and adjusting relationships.
Studies have also revealed that in formal meetings, where public speaking is required, men tend to speak considerably more than women.
Speaking of this, there is a particular story that comes to mind from my time as the school principal.
In that school, the daughter of an income tax commissioner who had been appointed there was studying in high school alongside several students from affluent business families.
The daughter of the income tax commissioner noticed the local merchant’s daughter expressing concerns about a potential income tax raid, as discussed by her father in the family.
Despite not knowing about the tax evasion beforehand, the commissioner stormed the house of the merchant after his daughter gave him the information and seized an unaccounted wealth worth a million.
It was a tragic outcome of a girl’s overtalking.
These are real-life examples that point out the common risks concerning uncensored personal information.
There is a very thin line between a friend and an enemy due to overpowering selfish motives.
It does not limit the effects of overtalking about affairs that break up marriages; they also affect personal and professional goals.
Thus, they prove that carefree openness can unconsciously empower people with bad intentions.
A sympathetic listener is not always a person of fair and kind intentions.
Due to envy, anger, and selfishness, some people can sometimes grab a harmless open conversation as an opportunity to betray.
When we share personal information without caution, “trust” which is so valuable, becomes a catastrophe.
In the light of these visible consequences, the wisdom summarized in the statement “You must know what to tell people and what not” becomes even more powerful.
It is not about creating a culture of suspicion; it’s about understanding that not everyone is deserving of our trust in sharing personal information.
When we witness the noticeable reactions of oversharing in both professional and personal situations of life.
Thus, the importance of exercising caution when sharing personal information becomes even more distinct.
