A Kitchen Partnership to Break the Gender Discrimination
I truly enjoyed chopping vegetables, washing dishes, and caring for kids
It is still fresh in my memory that my father rarely entered the kitchen unless it was to grab a glass of water in a hurry. Like many men in India, he was the sole earner, the head of the family, quietly managing every task outside the home. Inside, my mother managed everything, cooked, cleaned, and cared for the children without question.
But here I was, decades later, at the kitchen counter with a knife, ready to attack a pile of vegetables.
Though I had been taught that the kitchen was the reserved domain of women. But something within me inspired me to challenge old ingrained assumptions.
One night, I observed my wife as she cooked dinner. I was mesmerized by the way she balanced multiple tasks with grace. I had never before consciously noticed how energetically, she performed each task, timing her movements purposefully. She chopped, stirred, and tasted with practised ease, creating an orchestra of small, combined actions that made the task appear effortless. My gaze paused. After a moment she leared and smiled playfully while chopping vegetables.
Are you here to help, or are you just enjoying the show? She teased.
I laughed, but her comment struck me somewhere inside. The division of roles I had grown up believing was right suddenly felt dictatorial. My conscious mind seemed to question my subconscious.
Why was I simply an observer in this part of our lives?
Why was I not contributing here?
There was no rule preventing a husband from helping his wife with dinner, so what was stopping me?
I decided to act instantly. I picked up a knife confidently and began chopping alongside her. It was awkward for a layman like me; I chopped every slice in different sizes, and my speed was slow. I observed and copied her actions, feeling like a child learning something new. But, as I settled into the tempo of chopping, I noticed a sense of satisfaction though I wasn’t preparing a meal. This simple act was not much concerned about food — it was about participating and sharing a small part of the burden she carried every day.
By and by, what started after a mental tug-of-war became a regular part of our routine. I started spending more time in the kitchen, trying new dishes, experimenting with spices, and developing a genuine love for cooking. Even when things went wrong — a charred pan here, a flavourless curry there — she would laugh and gently correct me, making the process more of a partnership than a task. We connected in those moments, as we were learning from each other and laughing off mistakes.
The kitchen seemed to be the right place to demolish the isolation wall between men and women- based tasks. With my awakened enthusiasm for functions, I also joined in various other activities particularly assigned to her. On weekends, I helped our children do their homework, a responsibility I had previously left entirely to her, assuming it was solely her domain. Surprisingly, I even started reading bedtime stories, which quickly became part of my evening routine. Our children were thrilled by this change, and their wide-eyed excitement at my attempts at bedtime storytelling showed me how much I had missed out on these duties.
Long before these small acts became integral parts of our family life. I noticed my wife taking a break while I finished the dishes or quietly watching as I cared for the kids. We were a team, no longer defined by rigid roles but by the immediate needs of the moment. I found a genuine reason to respect her and her endless patience and dedication to these tasks that had once seemed nothing.
Over time, I realized that what I had considered just housework was far more than that. It taught me patience, respect, and appreciation for the unseen efforts that keep a household running. And each of these tasks, from cooking to bedtime stories, strengthened the bonds within our family. My children saw my involvement, felt my presence, and, most importantly, saw their mother and me as true partners, working together to create a warm, supportive home.
For me, this was no longer a change in roles but an expansion of them. Being a husband and father no longer stopped me from doing work at the kitchen counter, by the sink, and in the bedtime stories.
I was excited to explore the beauty of partnership in every act, big or small. It’s not about who does what; it’s about participating, initiating, sharing the burden, and valuing every contribution equally. By forsaking disintegrating beliefs, we have created a new way of being a family. A kind of family that shows our children that love is more than words. It’s in the everyday actions, the shared efforts, and the silent support we give each other.
Takeaway
Being a partner means being present in every aspect — not just as a provider but also as a friend, caregiver, and teammate. By challenging outdated norms, we can eliminate obsolete, illogical practices and provide our children with a vision of family life where love and respect are evident in every moment spent together.
Disclaimer: This article has been published on another platform.
